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After the plane crashes conveniently in London, the resurrected Egyptian princess travels around England in search of some magic artifact as she grows in power by sucking the souls out of men to recruit them for her zombie army.

Cruise plays almost a parody of his previous film personas, a roguish womanizer who — shocking twist — has a deep underlying heroism. He sleepwalks through this role. Co-lead Annabelle Wallis seems to take a cue from Cruise, as she remains stiff and wooden throughout, even as hordes of the undead chase them around the world. Overall, the chemistry and sexual tension between the two leads feels about as real as a three-dollar bill.

Jake Johnson (Nick from “New Girl”) stars as the requisite comic relief, most likely written-in when the producers realized how bland and unlikable the co-leads turned out to be. He starts the movie as Cruise’s sidekick, and then later becomes his strange imaginary zombie sherpa. His entire role in most of the movie seems to be simply telling the clueless characters where to go next.

Sofia Boutella’s evil mummy princess is likely the best character of the film as she portrays her with genuine menace and attitude. Unfortunately, most of the surrounding action seems more like Wile E. Coyote vs. the Road Runner than a modern action-adventure flick.

Nick Morton is supposed to be an ISIS-fighting, military recon ultimate badass. However, he mainly seems oblivious to everything going on around him, and apparently struggles with basic firearm use and English vocabulary. Despite being a “treasure hunter,” he has apparently never heard the term ‘hieroglyphics’ before. About 30 percent of the movie seems to be Cruise confusedly staring off into space. Perhaps he’s looking forward to his next giant paycheck from the upcoming “Top Gun” sequel.

The few scenes of genuine suspense, such as the plane crash featured in the trailers, are too few and far between to make up for the general confusion. Despite the film’s massive production budget, most of the scenes feel claustrophobic and stagey. It seems like most of the funding went into producing CGI shadows to cover naked characters’ butt-cracks to maintain a PG-13 rating.

If #TheMummy is supposed to be the beginning of Universal's ambitious Dark Universe that showcases their classic monsters in one big shared cinematic crossover, then they're off to a terrible start.

There's probably only a couple of sequences that somewhat thrill, the rest are just a continuous string of one poorly written, poorly acted and poorly executed scene after another. It feels more like sitting in a dentist's waiting room as opposed to rockin' on a roller coaster ride. And Tom Cruise is just wrong for this role, a huge case of miscast. Perhaps they should just press the reboot button again.

Sofia Boutella plays an evil ancient princess imprisoned in a tomb deep beneath the unforgiving desert. When a couple of treasure hunters and an archaeologist awaken her in our present day, she returns to life to reclaim her destiny while at the same time unleashing unimaginable terrors in this new take that ushers in a new world of gods and monsters. Co-starring Tom Cruise, Annabelle Wallis, Russell Crowe and Jake Johnson, directed by Alex Kurtzman.

The concept of what the writers and director Alex Kurtzman is trying to present to us with "The Mummy" is nothing new, in fact it's quite predictable, but the biggest problem about it is that along the way from point A to point B, they fill it in with moments that just don't work. And it gets even more frustrating when they bring it up again the second, third and fourth time as if shoving it down our throats would make it better. The jokes fall flat so much so you kinda feel sorry for Jake Johnson who clearly wants to make some effort as this film's comic relief. There are also parts that are just absolutely pointless and unnecessary. The characters including Dr. Jekyll frequently draw conclusions out of their butts. I do think "The Mummy" is what happens when the story is forced to serve the visual spectacle instead of the other way around. That said, rising star Sofia Boutella is a marvelous choice, she exudes that thirst for power effortlessly in addition to being incredibly seductive.

But of course, just as expected, instead of it being a movie about Sofia Boutella's The Mummy, it becomes all about Tom Cruise, who as I said earlier is just awfully wrong for this role. I understand that the studios probably think that banking on a A-lister would translate into box office results, but fact of the matter is outside "Mission: Impossible" franchise, Cruise just doesn't fit anywhere else anymore. The character that he plays here is is a thieving treasure hunter, much like Nathan Drake from "Uncharted" games, but all you see on the screen instead is special agent Ethan Hunt desperately trying to be someone he's not. By the end of "The Mummy" you're going to have second thoughts about anticipating the next installment of this Dark Universe, and you're going to want to wish Brendan Fraser had still been around.

"Dead is just the beginning", right? In this case it might be the beginning of the end of the world of gods and monsters. I have been dwelling on how to review this movie as I want to be fair but I don't want to mislead you. I will start by saying that Sofia Boutella nails the character of Princess Ahmunet, she is truly a goddess with of course an ancient course that she brought upon herself, but her character is so likable you actually end up rooting for the ultimate evil, Boutella brings a charisma to the mummy that it is hard to match.

My biggest fear going in was Russell Crowe as doctor Henry Jekyll and his other persona, Mr Edward Hyde, but the actor gives the performance of his lifetime as both characters and his seedy organization, which is truly as evil and ruthless as the "monsters" they chase. And this is how I like my "heroes", men or groups that for the common "good" are willing to become monsters themselves, it makes for an interesting plot.

Here's where things go sideways: Tom Cruise, yes I said it. Nick Morton is an amalgamation of Rick O'Connell of the Brendan Fraiser movies and Ethan Hawk from M:I. His character lacks charisma and his romance with Jenny (Annabelle Wallis) is less than believable. It borders in a cheap Fabio novel paper back, the movie would have been much better without Tom Cruise and Nick Morton.

Here's where things go bad: The special effects, last year I hammered Ghostbusters for their "Scooby-like" CGI and it pains me as I have to do the same here, the CGI was awful, seriously! When a TV Show like Game of Thrones can have great FX there is absolutely no excuse to have a big franchise movie, the start of one had FX so incredibly awful, they looked like a freaking cartoon. That seriously killed the movie.

There are a couple of good scenes but I have to say sadly that the Dark Universe is dead, or at least it should be. My rating is 6 out of 10, and I'm being nice. Welcome to a new world of meh...